Fights, Chocolates and Terrible Soap Operas
by Speedy Speck
Summary: An angry Tifa casts Mute on her boyfriend, only to regret her choice...One-Shot...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane' Please R&R :


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII does not belong to me...however much I may like it to. I own no character's, place's etc. etc. so please don't sue me! I'm a nice person :)

Author's Note: This is my thirty-first fanfic!...Not sure if it's any good but oh well!...And it was written for 'The Sacred and Profane'! PLEASE review as I really enjoy reading your views and they inspire me to get better! It would make me very very happy! Anyway stop reading this and get on with reading the fic! Hope you enjoy! :D

''One of these day's I'll do something to make you regret being such an ass hole!'' The brunette had a furious finger pointed at her boyfriend.

''Pfft what exactly are you gunna do to me? I'm a Turk and you're an itty bitty woman!''

Tifa raised her eyebrows in disbelief, ''Excuse me? How dare you, I'm a great martial artist!''

''Yeah you were! But come on...you're out of shape!'' The red head knew he was pushing it, but for some reason he couldn't stop the words from coming out.

The young woman opened her mouth wide in outrage, ''I can't believe you just said that...''

''Well it's true...plus you've been eating like a chocobo lately...'' Reno put on an arrogant smirk but inside the Turk was terrified, _Oh God...really shouldn't of said that...Reno...why the hell did you say that...you wouldn't dare say that to Yuffie...why would you say it to your girlfriend...Gotta learn to keep my mouth shut..._

Unluckily for him in was all ready to late, the brunette stamped her foot on the carpet and furrowed her brow, ''...Oh that is it!

The young woman lifted the Materia in her hand and within the space of three seconds a beam of white light streamed from it and hit the red head leaving him leaning against the wall, fighting for breath.

When the Turk finally managed to get his breathing steady he looked up at the young woman with mix of anger and shock.

He opened his mouth to continue the row with his girlfriend, ''…...'' His eyes widened in surprise and confusion at the lack of sound escaping his throat. The red head coughed lightly and then tried again, ''…...''

As he stood there trying over and over to get his voice out, Tifa let a small satisfied smirk spread across her face. _Well that shut him up..._

* * *

After half an hour of explaining to the Turk what she'd done, he sat on the sofa in a sulk, his arms crossed and his lips in a rather cute pout.

The brunette couldn't help but find it amusing, ''Well, at least now you can't go spouting off about how 'fat' I'm getting!'' She lifted an eyebrow before flashing him a smug smirk when he couldn't reply.

The Mute she'd cast on him was definitely a great idea. They'd been fighting a lot recently, mostly because he'd say something completely random and Tifa would take it out of context.

The fight they'd just been having started when Reno made a comment about how there was never any chocolate in the house and she took it as him implying she'd been hogging the lot because she was a greedy pig. Of course he'd meant no such thing, though Tifa would never listen long enough to hear him out. But now he couldn't make any stupid comments, or say anything at all for that matter and Tifa was rather enjoying it.

The Turk on the other hand was feeling very put out. _I can't believe she cast Mute on me...she'd kill me if I did that to her! I mean...sure, I did say some slightly...bad things, but I didn't mean them... plus even if I said something nice she'd just turn it into something else, might as well just go along with it..._

Tifa slumped herself down on the sofa next to the red head, ''Let's watch some television, shall I have control of the remote?'' When she was met with a deathly silence she grabbed the piece of equipment, ''I'll take that as a yes!'' She giggled to herself, this was gunna be fun.

Over the next two hours she made the poor Turk watch the most terrible soap operas he'd ever seen. In fact the red head couldn't believe that they even broadcast such rubbish. And if the brunette was being honest, she hated them to, but couldn't resist making her boyfriend watch the cringe worthy love triangles. When the sappy closing music finally came to an end the brunette turned off the screen and looked at her boyfriend.

''You know you could learn something from Derek and Julia.'' She was referring to the main couple from 'Paradise Beach', possibly the most cheesy soap opera they'd sat through, ''You've got to make things equal and fair in a relationship, I mean you're always insulting m-''

She paused for a moment as the red head scribbled something down on a bit of paper and shoved it in her face, ''...Tifa, one time, one time I insulted you, and I didn't even mean to! You just assumed I-'' But before she could read the rest she scrunched it up into a ball and threw in onto the coffee table, ''Please Reno, you know full well you meant to call me fat and frankly I deserve to insult you! So here it is, you don't eat enough, you're just a scrawny plank, and you're lazy, I mean come on, you're all ways late for work, and you're inconsiderate, not to mention incompetent...''

Reno looked both insulted and incredibly hurt. He shook his head at the young woman before jumping up from the sofa.

''Where are you going?'' Tifa watched the red head with both confusion and suspicion, not realising that what she'd said might have actually upset him.

The Turk made a rude gesture at the brunette lying on the piece of furniture before leaving the room and before long there was a rather loud slam of the front door.

* * *

Tifa paced the back and forth around the living room. It was getting late and her boyfriend still hadn't returned._What could he be doing? He can't speak so how could he even order a drink...I hope be hasn't done anything stupid...though knowing Reno that's all he ever does...I guess I was a little mean...ok a lot...Damn it Tifa when are you gunna grow up? _

By the time the red head had returned, the young woman was curled up on the sofa, half asleep, though she was quickly brought to her senses when she saw the state of her boyfriend.

His lip was bloody, and he had a rather nasty looking gash above his eyebrow, and the crimson liquid spilled down and ran down his cheek, making it look worse than it was. His left eye was puffy and rimmed with dark purple and he seemed to be drunk from the way he was stumbling around the room.

''Oh my- Reno! You look terrible! Does it hurt? What happened? Are you ok?'' Soon though she realised that her questions were pointless as the Turk could only mouth her silent words.

Her eyes widened in distress, ''Listen, I'll ring Yuffie and ask her to bring round some Echo herbs and we'll get you speaking again...ok?'' She gently laid her boyfriend down on the sofa before running a hand through his flame red hair. ''Oh and... I'm sorry for being a cow, I didn't mean those things I said...Well you are scrawny, but...I like you just the way you are...'' The brunette let a slightly embarrassed smile creep onto her lips ''And I'm sorry for eating all the chocolate...''

When she'd returned from phoning the young ninja she lowered herself onto a free spot on the sofa looking over the battered red head. ''I love you sweetie...and I promise never to cast Mute on you again...and to actually hear you out next time ok?''

The red head looked up at his girlfriend with a contented smile before reaching out to the table and scribbled something else on the bit of paper. When he handed it to the brunette the pair of them smirked simultaneously.

_*I love you too Tifa, And I don't think you're fat at all, you're perfect...well apart from having the worst taste in soap opera's I've ever seen. But yeah I love you ...even if you do cast spells on me and eat all my chocolate._

_PS. Oh and if you're gunna be looking after me...does that mean you'll be my nurse...and more importantly... will there be outfits?*_


End file.
